Apr 9, 2020
Kill Me Now
A work rant with a bonus, gratuitous picture of my dogs.
At 3 pm today, the team received an email that we have a new Operations Manager- Horray! We need someone to manage the operations as we typically operate like it’s the Wild West.
Unfortunately, the email came directly from the new manager himself, not from HR or any known person as a way of introduction. Cool. Fine. Global pandemic and no time to follow any professional channels. Got it.
He clearly, and quite verbosely, outlined his role and duties, his location and frequency to our offices (he is in Texas- we are in Illinois … did I mention global pandemic? Travel restrictions?), and his request for every employee’s resume and a personal profile introduction before our mandatory, individual, 15-minute get-to-know-ya phone call sometime in the future.
Okay.
His next email began … “Per my last email”.
Dude.
No.
We, as a team, have not done anything meriting such passive aggression in your SECOND EVER communication to us.
“Per your last email” my ass.
The first brick is now laid in the wall between management and staff.
Gawd.
Hard eye roll.
Rant over.
Did you see the gratuitous picture of my dogs? We all need joy in the face of work absurdity which should be less absurd and left at work.
— — — -
BONUS! Before I could post this short rant, I received a third email that contained detailed instructions of our conversation topics at the aforementioned 15-minute individual phone calls.
No need to discuss anything personal in the call, as we have already sent him personal profiles. Right? Also, here is an excel spreadsheet with every team member’s names …
(INCLUDE PEOPLE WHO WERE LAID OFF IN THE PAST 24 HOURS!)
… and our call-in date and time.
Because, I, well, I can’t even … I sent my resume as requested and no personal profile.
I don’t even do online dating because I am not a commodity which can be summed up in a 30-second elevator pitch to a new Operations Manager in the hopes that, gee whiz, he will like me.
Nope. Not doing it.
As an aside, I work in a technical field full of engineers and other stereotypically socially awkward individuals. Forcing openness and closeness is NOT what we do. Would you like to discuss the data? Electrical Schematics? Stress Tolerances? We are your people.
If you want to know if I like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain? Nope, not today.
